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How To Be Your Best Self and Enrich the Lives of Others

There comes a time in every one’s life when you just got to wake up. Wake up and smell the coffee.

Be Free


How many times have you stared out of your window wondering what to do with your life? You know things aren’t working yet, somehow you don’t know what to do, how to get yourself motivated and do something “different” with your life.

Does Every Day Feels The Same?

Your bills get paid, your children are healthy and well and you have a job.

What More Do You Want?

Despite this, do you ever experience a sense of frustration, a slight tinge of resentment as you watch another round of the X-Factor or Britain’s Got Talent and see yet another wanna achieve their dream?

Do you ever wonder what will it take for you to get up, do what you got to do and live the life you wish? Do you know what you want, or have you totally given up on going for gold and achieving your dreams?

Don’t Do What I Did

Sometimes it takes a major loss in your life to shift your energy. I remember when my dear cousin died in 1995 and then my brother John died 18 months later, I spent months, years stuck in “zombie mode”.

On one level I functioned perfectly well. Looked after my children, held down my job and did the usual domestic-social runs with friends and family. Yet deep down there was pain and sadness. I knew I had to find a way to let go of this pain and move on, yet how I could? I didn’t know how to let go of the pain and in some strange way I believed I deserved to be in pain.

With hindsight and counselling I realised my holding onto the pain prevented me from living, stunted my growth as I denied myself the fulfilment and joy I deserved as human being.

Do This Instead And Do It Now.

I knew for my children’s sake and for my own emotional well-being I had to seek help and find a way to release the sorrow and move on. Coming to that decision and then going for help was a turning point in my growth and healing.

Have You Ever Been Stuck Between A Rock And a Hard Cliff?

Have you ever been in a similar situation? Stuck between a rock and a hard cliff? Stuck with both feet wedged into the ground? Your heart says one thing, your mind the other. And the confusion is locked in your body.

I Have

I recall the fear and apprehension of taking the first step to be self-employed. To leave the secure, financially stable world of a Probation Officer and set up my yoga business. Was I scared? Yep,I was. Still am at times. Yet the joy and exhilaration of living life, of being an active co-creator in the Creator’s hand is like eating mama’s home made pumpkin soup every day of my life.

How can you move forward in life, make a positive contribution if you live in the shadow of death?

How can you overcome your fear of being your very best and taking space in the world if every breath is tinged with regret, fear and doubt?

Can You Let Go?

Overcoming obstacles, letting go of your attachment to pain, addiction, anger or fear is scary.

As a yoga teacher I see students come to a class, vulnerable, emotionally worn out and empty yet willing to take the first step, take the next breath in and out to sort themselves out, to feel alive, and to breathe and reclaim their beauty and connection with life.

It is an honour, a humble joy to witness women who spend all their lives caring for others finally taking time out to care for themselves, finally give themselves the attention and respect they so freely give to others to themselves. Women over 50, mothers who maybe went years without, just so their children can have; finally taking a stand and put themselves on the mat. At the end of the session, they look younger, fresher, revived.

Give Thanks

I breathe and Give Thanks when I see students have that post yogic glow and am glad I made the decision, committed to myself to find a way to let go of my pain and live again.

Remember it is never too late to let go and live again. Here at the NextGoal we want you to grow, to shine and be the best, the very best you can be. So, what magic have you created in your life? what challenges have you overcome to be your Best? Are you still looking for a way to be your Best? Wherever you are in the journey, you have a story to share. Lets here it and together lets inspire and motivate others.

Take a moment out of your time, to share your stories, thoughts and suggestions.

We look forward to hearing more. Write your thoughts in the comment box below.

Thank You. Stay blessed and live well

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Image-with thanks to Pasma

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About Ntathu Allen

Yoga Teacher, Blogger and mum to three bubbly teens, I aspire to support, educate and encourage busy mums and working women to weave moments of calm into their hectic schedule.

About Ntathu Allen

Yoga Teacher, Blogger and mum to three bubbly teens, I aspire to support, educate and encourage busy mums and working women to weave moments of calm into their hectic schedule.

Comments

  1. I wonder why we try so hard to stay in our comfortable shells. It really is much more fun to see what we can do accomplish. Like slowly dipping you toe in a pool of cold water vs jumping in all at once. You’ve got to admire those who do, much more fun, even if it means making a fool of yourself at times
    Congrats that you got past the depression and moved on instead of getting stuck in the past. Many are still stuck, not wanting a way out, missing out on life.
    Heidi Caswell recently posted..Level Up?My Profile

  2. Sometimes there isn’t an “answer” to the problem. It would be great if we could just Google all of our problems and find the perfect solution. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way. (give Google 3 or 4 more years and maybe)

    I think by bringing up issues and talking them over, you move closer to the answer. Just my 2 cents…
    Larry Lourcey recently posted..My Celebrity InterviewMy Profile

    • Who knows Google may be developing such a system…until then we have to take a step by step approach to finding ways which helps us to find the answers and take the time to learn what works for us. Thanks Larry

  3. I think being brave enough to recognise that you are operating at well under par and then reach out for help, are perhaps the two most important steps towards change. I think that there is a great deal of shame for most people, even uttering words like ‘depressed’ or ‘stuck’. I know, I for one, like the world to think that I have it under control. But I realised that facades don’t actually help anyone, least of all me, and that when I start speaking my truth and reaching out, that ultimately, I help many others – sister friends realise they are not alone in some of their pain and confusion, and the people who spent lots of time and effort learning to be healers, get to heal and get paid 🙂 Thanks for sharing Ntathu …

    • Bless you Aneka. Good to hear from you and to receive your thoughts. Yes letting go of the facade and pretending all is well is an important part of healing and letting go of pain. The more we help ourselves and seek support themore we have to give. As parents we have to do our best so we can give ourbrst to our chikdren and help them to be their best. Take special care. Peace

    • It does take bravery to admit that you need help. And it does, usually, end up helping the helper, too. Who doesn’t like to hear, “I need you” said without regret or resentment of that fact.

  4. Bless You Sheherazahde and thanks for sharing your thoughts. I totally agree re your concerns that I haven’t answered the questions posed. At the time of writing the post, my purpose was to encourage readers to pause and think about the questions, sharing my hows I now realise would be useful. Thanks for feedback.

    For me part of the healing process/letting go and finding out what you want is being still, listening to your inner voice.It is a personal journey. There are different tools and skills to do this. For me that involves a mixture of meditation and practical goal setting tips (check out Holly’s article on how to set smart goals (http://thenextgoal.com/2011/10/make-all-goals-smart-goals/) Through my journey, Giving Thanks, means appreciating what I have been through, finding the lessons and giving thanks for making it through the pain. Again, for me that has been through coaching, counselling, yoga/meditation and talking with others who have gone through similar situations.
    I know there is no one answer and I hope between us at TheNextGoal we can provide a range of skills and tools to motivate and support our readers. Once again thanks for taking the time to respond. Please feel free to ask more questions. Take care

  5. i know it doesn’t compare but i felt the same way when changing schools and leaving my usual circle of friends. i don’t like change. and in the first few months of the new school i was unhappy and i didn’t like it. but now i’ve gotten over it (mostly ;P) i’m just making the best of a crappy situation and now i feel much happier there

    • That’s a very positive attitude Jamee. Most people dont like change and making the best of a crappy situation is a very forward way of thinking and living your life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  6. sheherazahde says:

    This is post starts out well. You are brave to share your personal struggle.
    But there is something missing. You ask “How can you overcome your fear of being your very best and taking space in the world if every breath is tinged with regret, fear and doubt?” But you don’t answer the question. You go on to ask “Can You Let Go?” Is that the answer? Do you think letting go is the answer? How does one let go? How did you let go?
    Then you talk about giving thanks. Is that the answer? Do you think giving thanks helps people let go and overcome obstacles? Or are you just changing the subject?
    Or are you asking me to to come up with an answer? How are you helping me if you don’t have any answers?

    • its subjective no one will have the same way of dealing with things that happen in their life. I think by sharing her experiences that she’s already started the process of helping you by making you think about the experience yourself which is an important step for overcoming the obstacle. ‘How are you helping me if you don’t have any answers?’ no one has the answers the only answers for you are the ones inside you she can guide you to help you locate those answers but you’ve got to dig them out yourself.

      • Thank You Jamee. You raised a valuable point, At the end of the day the only answers are the ones inside and part of the journey is exploring and finding out what is “inside”. There are different ways of achieving this and here at the NextGoal we aim to foster an environment where readers can find the support and information needed to “go inside” and find the answers they seek.

    • the point of a rhetorical question is for you to think about the answer! and giving thanks does help people go through things it makes you see the positive things in life rather than the negative things which can keep you from getting through what ever you nee to get through.

      • Moza, yes that is true. I ask a lot of rhetorical questions in the hope that you do take the time to pause and seek help to move forward. Giving thanks as you say is intended to encourage you to see the positive in life which generally helps you in the long run to get through your obstacles. Thanks for comments.